Ido's

Uniform

2009-05-07T06:54:00.000-07:00

Students discuss a lot about (the) school uniform. We all know it has some good sides, and some bad sides. (The) School uniform in my school is a T-shirt in any color the student wants. But there are schools in the world, that thier(sp.) uniform is (a) complete set of clothes.

(The) School uniform has some advantages. Students in different economic positions, should wear the same clothes. This equality is making(gr.) students in(ww. - from) low economic position, be proud of wear they ware(phr.), nobody else is wearing(gr.) trademark(ww.) clothes so they don't "have to" do this too. (The) School uniform is also making(gr.) a belonging feeling(wo. - "a feeling of belonging"). If everybody else is like you, you feel(you) belong to the society. Moreover, (the) school uniform is helping(gr.) in the security(phr.). The security guards don't know all (the) school's students, so the uniform is helping(gr.) them to(מיותר) make the decision if someone is a student, or an infiltrator.

However, (the) school uniform has some disadvantages too. People all over the world were born different. (The) School uniform is blotting out(ww. and gr.) this difference. It's making(gr.) people the same. That's making(gr.) a feeling of "I'm one of the rest", like nobody cares about who really are you(wo. - "who you really are"). There is also the point(ww. - issue) of taste. Everybody has taste: taste in food, taste in people and taste in clothes. Sometimes students don't like the look of school uniform, but they have to wear it because that what was written in school laws(phr.). That making(gr.) a person feels(gr.) frustrated.

So, (the) school uniform is great and bad together. It's helping(gr.) one person, but hurting(gr.) the other. Because of that, I think (the) school uniform has to be just like in my school. You have the choice of what you wear except (for) the shirt, and even in(ww.) the shirt you can choose your favorite color.

(65)
Daphna

2009-04-10T01:53:00.000-07:00

Burge McCall was a short and fat man. He was described as a womanizer. He worked as a chief clerk and made a good salary. However ,he was stingy with his wife. Other women had won his money. Mrs. McCall was tall with smooth, black hair. No one knew her first name, Venita. Her neighbors called her Mrs. McCall. She was a quiet, peaceful woman, who didn't pay attention to her husband's behavior.

Burge McCall hated his wife. After two years of rickety marriage Burge McCall slepted his wife. Her reaction changed all tje story. She reacted calmly and just said to her husband "You are a big rat". The following day Burge had heard from the

Gimme more...

2009-03-21T07:31:00.000-07:00

Math, Physics, English, chemistry and literature- they are all subjects I'm learning in(ww. - at) school, but one of them is not related to the others- literature.Why? Because homework in literature are(gr. - is) unnecessary.

In my point of view homework should be given by teachers only if their goal is practicing. If the teacher has taught something in class and she wants the pupils to practice it, she should give homework. But if the teacher wants the pupils to go on with the material, she shouldn't give homework. As a pupil I tell you homework is the worst nightmare of the student. We, the students, prefer the(מיותר) life without homework, life are(gr. - is) easier without any tasks to do.

What do I mean when I am saying(gr. - say) practice? I'll give you some examples. When (the)math teacher teaches new material toward the Bagrut and she want(gr.) us, the pupils, return it(phr. - to go over it) at home and solve more exercises, that's called practice. And when (the) English teacher teaches new material in Grammar and she wants to make sure the student have all understood, she can do it by homework and it's called practice. But when (the) Biology teacher wants the students to summarize about (a) new system in our body, that's not called practicing, and it's(gr. - is) shouldn't be given.

To conclude, I'm calling to the teachers(phr.), Don't give homework if your goal is not practicing. Please think about us before you are giving(gr. - use the present simple) homework and try to understand our situation if we don't do the homework sometimes.

Your essay is good and you do make some good points, but you should work on your conclusion and your opening - they need to be rewritten. (85)
Daphna

Explorer..

2009-02-19T02:40:00.000-08:00

In the last 50 years we are exposed to space exploration, which is being emphasized in the biggest, strongest and the richest countries. People are trying to increase the knowledge of the(מיותר) humanity about the life out of the earth. Many people think it's a necessary issue (in)which we have to invest many of our resources, and many other people think we should stop the(מיותר) space exploration, or at least slow it down.

On the one hand, space exploration is very important. There are some reasons that making(gr.) space exploration to(מיותר) such(an) important issue. One of them is a little bit spooky- ALIENS(phr.). I've met people who can swear they have seen an UFO. Maybe they (are) right? Explore that subject may help us understand if there are some E.T's out there(phr. - "if there are any new life forms"). One more reason for space exploration is(the) wish to know. People have been born with the desire of knowing(phr. - to know more) more. When you have more knowledge you have more power. With knowing what's going on there(phr.) we can defend ourselves from any danger- What kind of danger are you talking about?.

On the other hand, space exploration is (a)waste of time, money, and many more other resources. Why are we exploring space while our planet isn’t perfect and isn’t even close to being perfect. The money that is wasted can be invested in helping poor people who (are)starving. This money can be invested in stopping global warming. This money can be invested in researches of(ww. - to) find the solution of(ww. - for) Cancer or AIDS.

Scientists say our world is going to explode from the sun in 14 million years, say that our world, and I say people are not going to be in 14 million years(phr. - what are saying here?)- wars, epidemics, poverty or global warming is(gr. - are) going to kill the(מיותר) humanity much faster than 14 million years if we won't do(gr.) something. Think about that - How is related to anything you have written in the previous 3 paragraphs.

Your essay, on the whole, is quite confused and messy. You will have to reorganize it and correct your mistakes to make ti clearer. (75)
Daphna

peer pressure

2009-02-05T02:40:00.000-08:00

Peer pressure! What is it? Why is it such an important issue? Why do kids and teenagers give in to peer pressure? Well, I would like to tell you about an incident that had happened to me and I would(will) try to answer these questions.

Friday night, I find myself walking to a party in someone's house. I have never seen this guy, but I entered his house. There was a lot of Alcohol. And many of my friends drank. My friends tried to make (me) drink, but I didn’t do that. I have drunk in my life, and it's(gr. - use the past) one of my worst experiences. So I said NO and felt I was doing the right thing.

So what is it(מיותר) peer pressure?-(start a new sentence) peer pressure is when people in(מיותר) your age or level are trying to influence you. This influence may be good or bad. In my age, peer pressure is playing(gr.) an important part in life. It starts in dressing up, through obesity and diets, cutting lessons, drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes and even using drug(s). Children, teenagers and adults all want to look "good" and be "the man"(phr.).

We all know, even from the first grade, that cigarettes are bad,(Start a new sentence) they are (the) number one cause of lung cancer, but teenagers still destroying(gr.) their lives and smoke this junk. Should I destroy my life and insert (into) my body a killer because my friends say it's cool? The answer is NO.

I hope you to(מיותר) do(ww.) the right decision(This sentence doesn't belong here). to conclude everything I would like to give you some recommendations:(avoid making lists. You can give the same advice in a differe way: "First, if you are popular.....Second, if you think you are......." and so on)
1. If you are popular and people walk after you- use your huge power for doing good thing(s).
2. If you think you are under stress(מיותר) pressure- think about your life and decide what's more important.
3. If you did something that destroying lives(phr. and gr.)- stop, later you'll not be able to do this.
4. Alcohol and drugs are not a solution for many problems- They sell you an illusion and after the effect is over you feel like garbage juice(phr.).
5. I hope you to learn from me to(and) say- No
6. Peer pressure is power- Don't let people use it badly on you!!!
Please reorganize your last paragraph into a regular written paragraph without the list. You make very good points but you need to rewrite them in a different way.
(80)
Daphna.

Listen to your heart, there's nothing else you can do...

2009-01-22T02:44:00.000-08:00

23/1/09

Dear Janet,

I have heard your problem and I think it's not an easy one, but I do have some solutions for you. As you said, you are a very popular girl, who has a lot of friends, but two of your friends are trying to copy from you. It's making you feel uncomfortable and stressed, and even hurts you and your grades. Now you have a dilemma between(ww. - whether to help....but hurt...") helping them, but hurting yourself, or telling(gr. - tell) them you don't want to let them copy from you and take the risk of being rejected by them.

Look, you mentioned the opportunity of hurting them if you don't help them, and I think this is a wrong thought. If you help them, they will always choose the easy way of cheating and lying. Finally(ww. - Eventually), in their future it will hurt them, so if you let them copy from you, you are not helping them you are hurting them. Moreover, I think you should think about yourself in this whole story, someone who doesn't take(ww.) of himself will not achieve his goals in life.

In addition, you said you had a lot of friends, and as your peer, I know all your friends are important to you, but you have to think:"Is someone who (is) hurting me my friend?". I'm sure your answer is no. So tell them your problem and be sensitive but assertive. If they tell you they don't want to be your friends, let them go and understand they only use(gr. - use the present perfect) you as atool to(ww. - for) their succeed(ww. - success). If they tell you they understand you, I'm happy to tell you: You have two true friends.

Janet, doing the right thing is not always easy, but it's not impossible. I hope you solve the problem and keep the momentum of your success in school.
Ido

It's better, but you still have a few mistakes. Please correct them as well (87)

Daphna.

2009-01-07T09:35:00.000-08:00

8 years, 2920 days, 70,080 hours, 252,288,000 seconds that the citizens of Sderot live in fear, live in terror. insufferable situation, Ha? Let me ask you something, did you do anything about that? Are you against it? I believe you are not. I suppose that you are in London, Paris, New York, or any other city in the world, living so far away from our reality and still believing that you know everything, but actually you know nothing. Is Israel destroying Gaza, or are they destroying themselves?Is Israel killing their children or are they killing them by their own hands? I want you to look at something before you are making a decision:

Well now you can see how the "holly" Hamas uses his own children as human shields. And please, let me ask you one more question to conclude: Should we let the terror win??

16 years old boy, who lives in Holon in the center os Israel.

Dear Dor...

2008-12-17T05:27:00.000-08:00

12/5/08
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Dear Dor
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Hi, how are you? I haven't written to you in a long time, because I was abroad for a month. Well, now I'm in the airplane, writing to you this letter. You are not going to believe what happened to me.

As I told you in the previous letter I traveled to France. I was in the Eiffel tower, the Louvre and in the Eurodisney. But the most amazing thing happened to me while I was walking in the street. You know I'm a fan of Johnny Depp, He's a great actor. Well, he lives in France with his wife. As I said, I was walking in the street, and then I saw him. It wasn't such a crowded street so nobody saw him. I said to myself that it was the only opportunity I could ever get, and approached him. I started the conversation. I told him I was very excited to see him, and I like him more than any actor in the world. He was glad to hear that and I took a picture with him. Then he started to talk with me about the situation in Israel. I told him everything I knew. We talked for half an hour.

I have learned a few things from this incident. First, sometimes dreams really come true. Second, stars aren't only in the sky. Third, Johnny Depp is a wonderful person. And finally, always take a camera with you when you are abroad.

That's the story. It was very exciting to see him. Well, now I want you to tell me about your new girlfriend and your new car. lots of news... you can write a newspaper..:)

Goodbye,
Ido.

P.S.Send me the picture we took in the United States.

Play the game...

2008-11-26T06:17:00.000-08:00

What is the difference between children and their parents? I think it starts in games. The games that people used to play 40 years ago are not the same as the games kids play today. Chase, hide and sick, knucklebones are all the games our parents used to play. So, what made all those amazing games disappear The answer to that question will be shown in my exhibition.
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I chose three exhibits to demonstrate the changes that occurred. The first one is a piece of asphalt. I think it's the most appropriate exhibit to show which games the children played forty years ago. They used to play with dolls, and didn't have many more games except dolls. And their best opportunity was to go out and play with friends.
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The second exhibit I have chosen is Tetris. The Tetris was invented in 1985 by Alexey Pajintov. The Tetris quickly became the most wanted video game in the whole world. I think the Tetris opened the door to a new world. People all over the world discovered the perfection of the computers. Of course, the computers were developed in time.
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The third exhibit I have chosen is a laptop. I think it symbolizes the last big development. In a world of people who look for comfort and tiny belongings, the laptop does the job. Computers are used all over the world in many ways. In offices and in houses the computers are taking a large part of the life of many people. They are used for school, work and games. There are people who have actually become addicted. They can't leave the computer and they can't live without the computer.
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As I said the computers help us in many things. However, they cause people to stay at home, without doing a thing except eat.Obesity has become the number one killer in the western countries in the last ten years. I think the technology that developed with the time just caused more obesity, ilnesses and victims. So in a world of technology and computers I ask myself "What do we need it for?"

Somewhere Over the Rainbow..

2008-11-12T04:28:00.000-08:00

I would like to tell you about Antalya, Turkey. I went there two years ago. My family and I stayed in Topkapi hotel for one week. I think it's an amazing place, with the most beautiful beach I have ever seen. Anatalya is located on the Mediterranean coast.The hotel offers a lot of attractions such as:puffed up climbing wall, Kayaks, Banana which is a plastic boat with a shape like banana that conected to a boat with a motor and pepole should hold it and not fall while the motor boat is driving ,restaurants, several swiming pools that one of them is really giant and the masterpiece- some water slides.

Pepole prefer to come to Antalya more than any other place in Turkey and thats why it is the most toured city in Turkey and the Israelis' favorite place to travel in. When we came to Antalya it was night. We arrived at half past nine o'clock and we had to go from the airport to the hotel in a bus. That was a fourty minutes ride through the city. I was surprised from the unusual built of the city.The roadway was built higher than the houses. When we arrived at the hotel at ten p.m we were tired and fell asleep quickly. I did'nt do anything special in the week after except being in the pool or on the water slides. Sometimes my cousin and I went to the video games room and played, or went to the sea and used the attractions.

To sum up, I think Antalya is an amazing place to travel in, which includes amazing views, games, restaurant, sea, pool and sun. What does a person need more on a vacation?

Yuval...

2008-09-25T03:14:00.000-07:00

I would like to describe my little brother. His name is Yuval, and he is three years old. He's short (because of his age), curly brown haired, and his eyes are brown too.

Before he was born I was fighting with my 13 year old brother all day long, but when he was born everything has changed. My life is happier, and I am more responsible person. His birth story is very intresting. My family and I were in a Circumcision party. My brother and I were asked to be in giant dolls and play for younger children so we did it.When we finished it our parents were'nt in the party. My grandmother said they went to the hospital so we went her house and stayed there until we went to see our new brother.

Yuval was born on August 5th which means he is Leo. He is bossy and if something does not happen as he wants he will cry, yell and disarray. When he does it (cries and yells) there are two ways to relax him. One is give him his pacifier and the second let him see his favorite channels on TV, Luly and Hop.

Yuval's favorite toy is balls. He likes any kind of ball that exists and he has lot's of them. My brother likes toy cars too. On his last birthday I took him to the mall and bought him one. I have watched overmany kids as a babysitter , but my favorute is Yuval. He is a good boy who listens to adults, and he's very quiet boy.

Yuval, a wonderful kid, with a lot of charm.

I just can say he is the best gift I could ever get.

Me and School...

2008-09-11T03:17:00.000-07:00

My name is Ido. I'm 15 years old. I live in Israel, in the center of the country. I have a small family. I'm the firstborn kid, and I have two little brothers. One of them is 13 years old and the second is 3 years old.

I like to play basketball, to solve crosswords and spend time with my friends. It usually happens when there are holidays or Friday nights. We like to go to Bat-Yam's beach, mall and even to sit in gardens. Sometimes we go to the pool. In the summer vacation I spent the time with my freinds and worked in Clalit's main office too . Sometimes I go with my family to hotel when there is a holiday.

I study in Kugel high school which is great school. It's nearby my house. I study chemistry, physics and biology, as I have chosen and subjects like math, history and English which I have to learn. I enjoy school (especially when there's a break). As I said the school is great, although I think there are some things to improve. One of them is the location of the classes. English lessons, for example, are located in four different places. It's annoying that I have to get from one place to another and I dont always remember where the classes are. One more bad thing in my school is the pressure of the teachers a year before the Bagrut test.

Who said school is boring? I can easily argue with him. Maybe there are lessons which are boring but I am glad to go school.